Plus, a real story from a couple that didn’t have a planner. Read below!

Sure, we are biased but it’s for a good reason! Too many couples try to DIY their way through a wedding when it’s truly not the day to be DIY-ing anything. Planning the details of a wedding can be a great project for people who are really energized and excited and have lots of spare time. It can even be enjoyable for those who are super organized, skilled at doing research, and have confidence in their ability to manage a project in an unfamiliar industry, but when it comes to executing those plans on the wedding day you NEED to hand it over to a professional. Not your mom, not your person of honor, not your siblings. A professional. Guess what happens when you don’t? You, your friends, and your family have to do it. And if you are all doing the work, who’s going to do the celebrating and partying?

Trying to do both things at once means you’re not really doing either thing fully and to the best of your ability, and nothing should be prioritized more and have your full attention than celebrating and soaking in the joy of your day. This is the one day in your life when both you and your partner’s families, friends, and associates are all in the same room together to focus on you. They want to see you relaxed, happy, and having the time of your life! Not stressed out, running around managing people, or setting up decorations. And guess what, your family and friends don’t want to do it either, especially when they are all dressed up.

Here’s what needs to be done on the wedding day that you, your family, and your friends will have to do if you don’t hire a professional:

• Show up at the venue early to supervise and answer questions for vendors as they set up – when will your friends and family have time to get ready for the wedding if they are doing this?
• Answer phone calls all morning from vendors with various questions on their way to the venue – super not fun
• Ensure all rules and guidelines for the venue are being followed – will they know how to do this?
• Make sure each space at the venue is set up with all of the necessary equipment and decorations – no one wants to get sweaty carrying bags and boxes around setting up decorations, except for the pros who are getting paid to dedicate their day to doing it
• Review music and cues for the ceremony – how will they handle this and also enjoy the wedding?
• Talk to the caterer about timing and cues – you’re going to send family into the kitchen on your wedding day?
• Talk to the musicians about timing and cues – how will they enjoy the party?
• Send your family and wedding party down the aisle – they will be working instead of enjoying your ceremony
• Checking on the bars and catering during cocktail hour – not a great way to enjoy the party
• Prepping your wedding party for the grand entrance and opening the double doors for you – do they know all the ins and outs on how to do this?
• Cueing music, speeches, dances, and servers throughout dinner – does this person want to be on their feet the whole dinner?
• Handling issues that arise throughout the night – there will be no time to take a breath and let your guard down
• Cleaning up decorations – this is not fun when you are inebriated, hangry, and exhausted

This is just a small list of the hundreds of tasks that go into managing an event. The point of a wedding planner is to have an experienced pro there to handle these things for you and your family so you can all focus on having fun together!

We are giving you this advice because we know what it looks like when there is no wedding planner. Someone, whether they like it or not, will end up doing these things and we urge you not to make your friends and family hate your wedding. Do yourself and your families a favor and give yourself the best possible wedding gift ever – HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER! It will be some of the best money you ever spent and you will have the best day ever knowing you don’t have to worry about anything.

A Planner-less Couple’s Story

(not any of the couples pictured in this blog, to be clear)

I’m sharing a story about a couple I connected with recently. They inquired with Sustainable Soirées a while back for wedding planning services but ultimately didn’t book. I was sad because they were really sweet over the phone and I knew that I could help alleviate a lot of their concerns. Anyway, they went on to get married and a couple of months later we bumped into each other virtually because they referred another couple to me so I started asking questions because I was curious to see how everything turned out with their wedding. They said some very interesting things and granted me permission to share them with you.

Here’s what they said: 
(organized and edited for clarity)

• I wish we booked you. Our wedding was beautiful; HOWEVER, our families and friends were working the whole time! Going into it I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal to ask a few people to help set up some decorations. I had a large box filled with small things like favors, signs, candles, an easel, pens, programs, a ring pillow and flower girl basket, table numbers, and other little things we bought on Etsy. I asked my cousin to take the box with him on the way to the venue and he worked on setting everything up with my mom and aunts. They did a great job but when we arrived and I saw them all dressed up and looking frazzled I felt bad.
• I was checking my phone to see what time it was the whole day. When the ceremony was happening, I was whispering for people to go when it was their turn. Again, I didn’t think anything of it until after the fact. Now it seems weird to me that I was doing that as the bride. We should have had someone professional doing these things for us so I didn’t have to be working on my wedding day.
• People were coming up to me and asking weird things. The photographer was coming to me with complaints and asking me to go fix things for her. Guests told me someone had locked themselves in the bathroom and asked me what they should do. Everyone was coming to me with issues that I didn’t want to deal with. It was annoying and I wish we had someone there to deal with these things for us. 
• During dinner, family were coming over to ask when it was time for their speech. The order of the speeches and dances was confusing. Nobody seemed to know who was next and we were all like “let’s just wing it”. We needed someone to give the day structure. I thought my timeline made sense but I realized after the fact that I had some gaping holes in it. 
• I don’t have any memories of spending time with my family. I think I barely spoke to anyone that day because I was going around and answering our guests’ questions and telling vendors what to do. I’m actually really upset about this now that I’m thinking about it. 
• The most cringey thing was going around with envelopes after the wedding and handing them out to vendors. In my wedding dress. I felt so tacky making transactions in my wedding dress. Not fairytale-like at all. 
• I got in the limo at the end of the night carrying home a box of leftover cake and a bag full of random stuff, cards, and gifts. Again, it felt tacky. 
• I think the biggest takeaway was that we didn’t know what we were doing and it showed. Everything was new and unfamiliar. Learning how things worked as we made game-time decisions was stressful. There were so many details missed that I realize we would have had taken care of by a wedding planner. In our efforts to save some money, we gained more stress than we ever imagined and it shaped our memories of that day. 

I think the moral of the story is you don’t know what you don’t know. Wedding planners know all there is to know about weddings and the money you spend on this essential service is an investment in your experience and the memories you carry with you forever. 

Check out our Event Management service to connect with our team about your wedding day! We’d love to help make this day an absolute breeze for you and your loved ones!